December Spring

Today's weather was just beautiful!  Days like today make me glad I live in Florida.  Where else could I be working on my tan at the end of December?  I spent the vast majority of the day sitting out on my deck reading and playing with the dog.  If I didn't know better, I would think spring had come to Florida early.  But I've lived here long enough to know we still have some bitter cold weather ahead of us.

Sitting under the stunningly clear cerulean sky got me to thinking.  I kept saying to my son how much I loved the day and how beautiful the day was and I realized that for the first time in six months I was truly happy and at peace.  For the first time in a long time I felt truly thankful.  I was able to look at my life, my house, my health...everything with new eyes.

I was surprised to find that I was even looking forward to the new year.  Yes, there are several struggles that I know I will face, but they don't seem quite as insurmountable as they once did.  I don't know if it's because I did some "spring cleaning" and rid myself of some people who were dragging me down or if it was some other change that I've made.  I know only that things don't seem as bleak as they once did.

For the first time in a long time when I said today that I was thankful for something, I wasn't just saying the words.  For almost six months, I've said I was thankful for this or that because I knew I should be thankful for it, but I wasn't truly thankful.  Today was different.  There was feeling behind the words.  When I said I was thankful for the beautiful day, I truly felt thankful.  I felt content and happy and at ease.  It was nice. 

I know there will be days ahead when the feeling will be gone, but for some reason, I know those days will be temporary.  For the past six months, I wasn't so sure it was temporary.  It felt as though I had fallen into some dark place where light just couldn't reach.  And it felt as though there was no escape.  I am glad that is behind me now.

I hope tomorrow is as beautiful as today.  I hope I continue to move forward and put some distance between myself and that dark place I was in.  And I am thankful that I again have hope. 

Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 26

Day 26 -- How was your Christmas?

It was as good as it could be considering how sick I am.  I didn't cook and we didn't do anything.  I slept most of the day.  Maybe next year will be better.

Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 25

Day 25 -- Does your family have a Christmas breakfast or dinner?

Back when both sets of grandparents were alive we had two days of feasting.  On Christmas Eve we always went to my mom's parents' house and had dinner and opened presents.  We always had hog maw because it was my dad's favorite.  He also loved my mother's mom's cole slaw so she always made that.  And he really liked her homemade apple dumplings.  So she always made that.  Of course we had other stuff like mashed potatoes and what not, but those three things were always on the table for all the years of my childhood up until my grandmother got breast cancer and could no longer cook.

Then on Christmas Day we always went to my dad's parents' house for Christmas morning brunch.  The last few years my dad's mom made a really good breakfast casserole among many other things.  And for me she always made homemade egg nog.  I looooved her egg nog.  After brunch we would open presents.  We went back for dinner.  There was no particular set menu for dinner.  Some years it was roast or ham.  Some years it was turkey.  One year my uncle hosted dinner at his house and we had duck and goose.  But that was only one year.  After dinner we always played this game.  It would take much too long to explain.  Suffice to say it was just a silly game that we call complained about but secretly loved.

Now?  Well my grandparents are gone.  And of the four boys, only my dad and his younger brother keep in touch.  And neither of them are especially big on holidays.  Their eldest brother hasn't been part of the family for decades now and Ric, the second to the youngest, has been dead well over ten years.  My parents typically work, so we don't really do much of anything for Christmas.  Sometimes if my son wants me to I go ahead and cook, but typically Christmas pretty much passes as any weekend day would.

Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 24

Day 24 -- Do you go to a church service or go caroling?

No.  I keep saying I'm going to go to a midnight service or mass, but I never do.  Maybe next year?

Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 21 - 23

I've been really sick and this is the first day I've had enough energy to work on this, so I'm going to catch up all in one post.

Day 21 -- What kind of tree you have: fake or real? If real, what type?

We haven't put up a tree in several years.  But when we do put up a tree it's a real one.  I don't know the type of tree we normally get, but it's the one that has the long needles.  I don't like the short needled trees because they poke you and hurt.

Day 22 -- Do you have a wreath up?

No.  I rarely hang a wreath.

Day 23 -- Ham or Turkey?

Actually we usually have hog maw.  But if for some reason we don't have hog maw, then always ham.  None of us care for turkey.

Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 20

Day 20 -- What color ornaments do you put on your tree?

Weeeellllll.....I don't put up a tree.  But when I did, I had all kinds of ornaments because they had been handed down from both sets of grandparents.  Sometimes I wanted a designer tree, but in the end I kept the old ornaments because they all had memories.

Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 19

Day 19 -- If you were an elf what would your name be?

I thought about this a little and I have no good answer.  It's not like I know what kind of names elves have anyway.  Well not true.  I know what kind of names they have in books/movies like LOTR.  But what if the elves at the north pole were a hybrid mix of elves and fairies.  In which case would they have fairy names?  Fairy names tend to be Celtic.  Or would the names be a hybrid mix of an elf name and a fairy name? But what if elves were more like nymphs?  What kind of names do nymphs have anyway?  Or do elves come in nationalities?  And I keep saying elves, but should I be more specific and say North Pole elves since there are LOTR elves?  (Among other types of elves.)  And if I was an elf, a North Pole elf that is, would I have to be like that creepy Elf on the Shelf?  Man, that is the creepiest damn thing I have ever seen!  Never mind.  I'm good.  I don't want to be a North Pole elf.  I think I'll just be human and use my human name:  Mo.