December Spring

Today's weather was just beautiful!  Days like today make me glad I live in Florida.  Where else could I be working on my tan at the end of December?  I spent the vast majority of the day sitting out on my deck reading and playing with the dog.  If I didn't know better, I would think spring had come to Florida early.  But I've lived here long enough to know we still have some bitter cold weather ahead of us.

Sitting under the stunningly clear cerulean sky got me to thinking.  I kept saying to my son how much I loved the day and how beautiful the day was and I realized that for the first time in six months I was truly happy and at peace.  For the first time in a long time I felt truly thankful.  I was able to look at my life, my house, my health...everything with new eyes.

I was surprised to find that I was even looking forward to the new year.  Yes, there are several struggles that I know I will face, but they don't seem quite as insurmountable as they once did.  I don't know if it's because I did some "spring cleaning" and rid myself of some people who were dragging me down or if it was some other change that I've made.  I know only that things don't seem as bleak as they once did.

For the first time in a long time when I said today that I was thankful for something, I wasn't just saying the words.  For almost six months, I've said I was thankful for this or that because I knew I should be thankful for it, but I wasn't truly thankful.  Today was different.  There was feeling behind the words.  When I said I was thankful for the beautiful day, I truly felt thankful.  I felt content and happy and at ease.  It was nice. 

I know there will be days ahead when the feeling will be gone, but for some reason, I know those days will be temporary.  For the past six months, I wasn't so sure it was temporary.  It felt as though I had fallen into some dark place where light just couldn't reach.  And it felt as though there was no escape.  I am glad that is behind me now.

I hope tomorrow is as beautiful as today.  I hope I continue to move forward and put some distance between myself and that dark place I was in.  And I am thankful that I again have hope.