Today's weather was just beautiful! Days like today make me glad I live in Florida. Where else could I be working on my tan at the end of December? I spent the vast majority of the day sitting out on my deck reading and playing with the dog. If I didn't know better, I would think spring had come to Florida early. But I've lived here long enough to know we still have some bitter cold weather ahead of us.
Sitting under the stunningly clear cerulean sky got me to thinking. I kept saying to my son how much I loved the day and how beautiful the day was and I realized that for the first time in six months I was truly happy and at peace. For the first time in a long time I felt truly thankful. I was able to look at my life, my house, my health...everything with new eyes.
I was surprised to find that I was even looking forward to the new year. Yes, there are several struggles that I know I will face, but they don't seem quite as insurmountable as they once did. I don't know if it's because I did some "spring cleaning" and rid myself of some people who were dragging me down or if it was some other change that I've made. I know only that things don't seem as bleak as they once did.
For the first time in a long time when I said today that I was thankful for something, I wasn't just saying the words. For almost six months, I've said I was thankful for this or that because I knew I should be thankful for it, but I wasn't truly thankful. Today was different. There was feeling behind the words. When I said I was thankful for the beautiful day, I truly felt thankful. I felt content and happy and at ease. It was nice.
I know there will be days ahead when the feeling will be gone, but for some reason, I know those days will be temporary. For the past six months, I wasn't so sure it was temporary. It felt as though I had fallen into some dark place where light just couldn't reach. And it felt as though there was no escape. I am glad that is behind me now.
I hope tomorrow is as beautiful as today. I hope I continue to move forward and put some distance between myself and that dark place I was in. And I am thankful that I again have hope.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 26
Day 26 -- How was your Christmas?
It was as good as it could be considering how sick I am. I didn't cook and we didn't do anything. I slept most of the day. Maybe next year will be better.
It was as good as it could be considering how sick I am. I didn't cook and we didn't do anything. I slept most of the day. Maybe next year will be better.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 25
Day 25 -- Does your family have a Christmas breakfast or dinner?
Back when both sets of grandparents were alive we had two days of feasting. On Christmas Eve we always went to my mom's parents' house and had dinner and opened presents. We always had hog maw because it was my dad's favorite. He also loved my mother's mom's cole slaw so she always made that. And he really liked her homemade apple dumplings. So she always made that. Of course we had other stuff like mashed potatoes and what not, but those three things were always on the table for all the years of my childhood up until my grandmother got breast cancer and could no longer cook.
Then on Christmas Day we always went to my dad's parents' house for Christmas morning brunch. The last few years my dad's mom made a really good breakfast casserole among many other things. And for me she always made homemade egg nog. I looooved her egg nog. After brunch we would open presents. We went back for dinner. There was no particular set menu for dinner. Some years it was roast or ham. Some years it was turkey. One year my uncle hosted dinner at his house and we had duck and goose. But that was only one year. After dinner we always played this game. It would take much too long to explain. Suffice to say it was just a silly game that we call complained about but secretly loved.
Now? Well my grandparents are gone. And of the four boys, only my dad and his younger brother keep in touch. And neither of them are especially big on holidays. Their eldest brother hasn't been part of the family for decades now and Ric, the second to the youngest, has been dead well over ten years. My parents typically work, so we don't really do much of anything for Christmas. Sometimes if my son wants me to I go ahead and cook, but typically Christmas pretty much passes as any weekend day would.
Back when both sets of grandparents were alive we had two days of feasting. On Christmas Eve we always went to my mom's parents' house and had dinner and opened presents. We always had hog maw because it was my dad's favorite. He also loved my mother's mom's cole slaw so she always made that. And he really liked her homemade apple dumplings. So she always made that. Of course we had other stuff like mashed potatoes and what not, but those three things were always on the table for all the years of my childhood up until my grandmother got breast cancer and could no longer cook.
Then on Christmas Day we always went to my dad's parents' house for Christmas morning brunch. The last few years my dad's mom made a really good breakfast casserole among many other things. And for me she always made homemade egg nog. I looooved her egg nog. After brunch we would open presents. We went back for dinner. There was no particular set menu for dinner. Some years it was roast or ham. Some years it was turkey. One year my uncle hosted dinner at his house and we had duck and goose. But that was only one year. After dinner we always played this game. It would take much too long to explain. Suffice to say it was just a silly game that we call complained about but secretly loved.
Now? Well my grandparents are gone. And of the four boys, only my dad and his younger brother keep in touch. And neither of them are especially big on holidays. Their eldest brother hasn't been part of the family for decades now and Ric, the second to the youngest, has been dead well over ten years. My parents typically work, so we don't really do much of anything for Christmas. Sometimes if my son wants me to I go ahead and cook, but typically Christmas pretty much passes as any weekend day would.
Monday, December 24, 2012
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 24
Day 24 -- Do you go to a church service or go caroling?
No. I keep saying I'm going to go to a midnight service or mass, but I never do. Maybe next year?
No. I keep saying I'm going to go to a midnight service or mass, but I never do. Maybe next year?
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 21 - 23
I've been really sick and this is the first day I've had enough energy to work on this, so I'm going to catch up all in one post.
Day 21 -- What kind of tree you have: fake or real? If real, what type?
We haven't put up a tree in several years. But when we do put up a tree it's a real one. I don't know the type of tree we normally get, but it's the one that has the long needles. I don't like the short needled trees because they poke you and hurt.
Day 22 -- Do you have a wreath up?
No. I rarely hang a wreath.
Day 23 -- Ham or Turkey?
Actually we usually have hog maw. But if for some reason we don't have hog maw, then always ham. None of us care for turkey.
Day 21 -- What kind of tree you have: fake or real? If real, what type?
We haven't put up a tree in several years. But when we do put up a tree it's a real one. I don't know the type of tree we normally get, but it's the one that has the long needles. I don't like the short needled trees because they poke you and hurt.
Day 22 -- Do you have a wreath up?
No. I rarely hang a wreath.
Day 23 -- Ham or Turkey?
Actually we usually have hog maw. But if for some reason we don't have hog maw, then always ham. None of us care for turkey.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 20
Day 20 -- What color ornaments do you put on your tree?
Weeeellllll.....I don't put up a tree. But when I did, I had all kinds of ornaments because they had been handed down from both sets of grandparents. Sometimes I wanted a designer tree, but in the end I kept the old ornaments because they all had memories.
Weeeellllll.....I don't put up a tree. But when I did, I had all kinds of ornaments because they had been handed down from both sets of grandparents. Sometimes I wanted a designer tree, but in the end I kept the old ornaments because they all had memories.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 19
Day 19 -- If you were an elf what would your name be?
I thought about this a little and I have no good answer. It's not like I know what kind of names elves have anyway. Well not true. I know what kind of names they have in books/movies like LOTR. But what if the elves at the north pole were a hybrid mix of elves and fairies. In which case would they have fairy names? Fairy names tend to be Celtic. Or would the names be a hybrid mix of an elf name and a fairy name? But what if elves were more like nymphs? What kind of names do nymphs have anyway? Or do elves come in nationalities? And I keep saying elves, but should I be more specific and say North Pole elves since there are LOTR elves? (Among other types of elves.) And if I was an elf, a North Pole elf that is, would I have to be like that creepy Elf on the Shelf? Man, that is the creepiest damn thing I have ever seen! Never mind. I'm good. I don't want to be a North Pole elf. I think I'll just be human and use my human name: Mo.
I thought about this a little and I have no good answer. It's not like I know what kind of names elves have anyway. Well not true. I know what kind of names they have in books/movies like LOTR. But what if the elves at the north pole were a hybrid mix of elves and fairies. In which case would they have fairy names? Fairy names tend to be Celtic. Or would the names be a hybrid mix of an elf name and a fairy name? But what if elves were more like nymphs? What kind of names do nymphs have anyway? Or do elves come in nationalities? And I keep saying elves, but should I be more specific and say North Pole elves since there are LOTR elves? (Among other types of elves.) And if I was an elf, a North Pole elf that is, would I have to be like that creepy Elf on the Shelf? Man, that is the creepiest damn thing I have ever seen! Never mind. I'm good. I don't want to be a North Pole elf. I think I'll just be human and use my human name: Mo.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 18
Day 18 -- Which lights are better: white or colored and blinking or still?
All the lights are pretty but I prefer the white lights that do not blink.
All the lights are pretty but I prefer the white lights that do not blink.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 17
Day 17 -- Have you ever been to a Christmas parade?
Yes, and I've been in one too. Being in the parade was fun, but I really remember with fondness going with my grandparents. We didn't go every year, but the few years we did go I enjoyed it and I'm glad I have those memories to look back on now that my grandparents are gone.
Yes, and I've been in one too. Being in the parade was fun, but I really remember with fondness going with my grandparents. We didn't go every year, but the few years we did go I enjoyed it and I'm glad I have those memories to look back on now that my grandparents are gone.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 16
Day 16 -- When did you find out Santa wasn’t real?
We never did the whole Santa thing. Sure we had some Santa decorations, but it was always made clear where the presents really came from. And, yes, there were visits to Santa in the mall for the obligatory Santa Christmas picture, but it was clear this was just a silly little tradition. Santa was presented in the same way that a fairy tale was presented -- It was not true and was just for fun.
I've had some people say that I missed out on some huge childhood milestone by not having my family lie to me. Really? I think I'd have been more scarred if I'd found out later my family had been lying all those years. The most important thing we can give our children is honesty. If you can't be honest with your children, who on earth can you be honest with? Are you even honest with yourself?
Presenting Santa as true would be like presenting the story of Cinderella, Snow White or Beauty and the Beast as true. Surely no parent goes about presenting those as true. Why then would you present Santa as true? Is honesty not important to you? Do you not value your child's trust?
We never did the whole Santa thing. Sure we had some Santa decorations, but it was always made clear where the presents really came from. And, yes, there were visits to Santa in the mall for the obligatory Santa Christmas picture, but it was clear this was just a silly little tradition. Santa was presented in the same way that a fairy tale was presented -- It was not true and was just for fun.
I've had some people say that I missed out on some huge childhood milestone by not having my family lie to me. Really? I think I'd have been more scarred if I'd found out later my family had been lying all those years. The most important thing we can give our children is honesty. If you can't be honest with your children, who on earth can you be honest with? Are you even honest with yourself?
Presenting Santa as true would be like presenting the story of Cinderella, Snow White or Beauty and the Beast as true. Surely no parent goes about presenting those as true. Why then would you present Santa as true? Is honesty not important to you? Do you not value your child's trust?
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 15
Day 15 -- Have you started Christmas stocking yet?
Nope. Haven't in many years.
Nope. Haven't in many years.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 14
Day 14 -- How many Christmas card do you usually send out?
Usually none. Some years I send them out, but most years I don't bother.
Usually none. Some years I send them out, but most years I don't bother.
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 13
Day 13 -- Have you ever had a white Christmas? If yes, do you ever want to have Christmas without snow and vice versa.
When I lived in New Jersey as an adult I was able to enjoy a white Christmas. People always use the word magical when speaking of Christmas, but I'd have to say this made it truly magical for me. I remember if fondly. Having grown up in Florida, it was a big deal for me. Now that I'm back in Florida I can say without a doubt that I wish every Christmas could be a white Christmas. Even when I was in Hawaii I missed my New Jersey Christmases with the cold and the snow. Of course Hawaii has its own unique take on Christmas, and it was fun, but it just wasn't the same.
When I lived in New Jersey as an adult I was able to enjoy a white Christmas. People always use the word magical when speaking of Christmas, but I'd have to say this made it truly magical for me. I remember if fondly. Having grown up in Florida, it was a big deal for me. Now that I'm back in Florida I can say without a doubt that I wish every Christmas could be a white Christmas. Even when I was in Hawaii I missed my New Jersey Christmases with the cold and the snow. Of course Hawaii has its own unique take on Christmas, and it was fun, but it just wasn't the same.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 12
Day 12 -- Do you take part in secret Santa?
Tumblr was down yesterday, so that's put me a day behind. But I'll get caught up.
As for today's question: No. I have in the past, but found it to be less than fulfilling so I avoid it now.
Tumblr was down yesterday, so that's put me a day behind. But I'll get caught up.
As for today's question: No. I have in the past, but found it to be less than fulfilling so I avoid it now.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 11
Day 11 -- What kind of Christmas tree do you have?
None. I haven't put up a Christmas tree for probably 4 years now. When I do put up a tree I always get a real one, but I don't think I'll be putting up a tree again in my lifetime.
None. I haven't put up a Christmas tree for probably 4 years now. When I do put up a tree I always get a real one, but I don't think I'll be putting up a tree again in my lifetime.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 10
Day 10 -- Kissing under the mistletoe…have you done it?
Nope and it isn't looking like it's gonna happen this year either.
Nope and it isn't looking like it's gonna happen this year either.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 9
Day 9 -- What are you doing for Christmas this year?
Nothing. My dad is working so we'll get together some other day and exchange gifts. So I guess the plans are just to sleep in and once I finally get up I'll work around the house. There's always something to clean.
Nothing. My dad is working so we'll get together some other day and exchange gifts. So I guess the plans are just to sleep in and once I finally get up I'll work around the house. There's always something to clean.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 8
Day 8 -- What is your favorite food at Christmas time?
With the way this season has been going, I think a better question would be what is your favorite drink. In which case, the answer is easy: any hard liquor I can get my hands on! However, the question applies to food.... A thing I try to avoid! But really I guess the answer is pretty easy. Hog maw. Hog maw is the favored Christmas food....along with a shot or ten of Grey Goose.....
With the way this season has been going, I think a better question would be what is your favorite drink. In which case, the answer is easy: any hard liquor I can get my hands on! However, the question applies to food.... A thing I try to avoid! But really I guess the answer is pretty easy. Hog maw. Hog maw is the favored Christmas food....along with a shot or ten of Grey Goose.....
Friday, December 7, 2012
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 7
Day 7 -- Have you been naughty or nice this year?
This pretty much sums up my year:
This pretty much sums up my year:
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 6
Day 6 -- Who is your favorite reindeer?
I have no idea!! This is not something I lay awake at night wondering about. In fact, I don't even know all the reindeer names. Yes, I hear the gasps of disbelief. I dunno what to tell ya! I guess Rudolph because he has his own song, own show, etc. But ya know, Vixen is a pretty badass name. So maybe Vixen? Of course a deer given a female fox's moniker.....hmmm....someone got their mammals mixed up.....
I have no idea!! This is not something I lay awake at night wondering about. In fact, I don't even know all the reindeer names. Yes, I hear the gasps of disbelief. I dunno what to tell ya! I guess Rudolph because he has his own song, own show, etc. But ya know, Vixen is a pretty badass name. So maybe Vixen? Of course a deer given a female fox's moniker.....hmmm....someone got their mammals mixed up.....
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 5
Day 5 -- Favorite Christmas memory
Well for those who know me well this is going to come as a surprise...
The first Christmas I was on my own, my mom's father came over to put up my Christmas tree for me because I was completely at a loss as to what to do. (Honestly I still have to grab a man to put the tree up! Sad I know!) I wasn't real close to him so it meant a lot to me that he came over and helped me. I guess for some this seems like a stupid favorite memory, but hey, it means something to me.....
Well for those who know me well this is going to come as a surprise...
The first Christmas I was on my own, my mom's father came over to put up my Christmas tree for me because I was completely at a loss as to what to do. (Honestly I still have to grab a man to put the tree up! Sad I know!) I wasn't real close to him so it meant a lot to me that he came over and helped me. I guess for some this seems like a stupid favorite memory, but hey, it means something to me.....
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 4
And with this, I am all caught up! Now you'll be getting one of these a day.
Day 4 -- Does your family have any traditions?
We always shoot. Sure we do presents and Christmas dinner, but the whole day is pretty much spent out back shooting.
Day 4 -- Does your family have any traditions?
We always shoot. Sure we do presents and Christmas dinner, but the whole day is pretty much spent out back shooting.
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 3
Day 3 -- Hot chocolate or hot apple cider?
Believe it or not, hot chocolate. For some reason apple cider just does not appeal to me. Now had the other option been mulled wine.....yeah different answer LOL
Believe it or not, hot chocolate. For some reason apple cider just does not appeal to me. Now had the other option been mulled wine.....yeah different answer LOL
Monday, December 3, 2012
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 2
Day 2 -- Favorite Christmas movie and why?
A Christmas Carol with George C. Scott.
Why? Because it makes you think about what is important. Not just at Christmas, but in your day to day life too.
A Christmas Carol with George C. Scott.
Why? Because it makes you think about what is important. Not just at Christmas, but in your day to day life too.
Christmas Challenge 2012 -- Day 1
Yeah, so I'm a little behind! LOL Story of my life. Can I use the excuse that I've been sick? Truly I have. Yes, I am using that excuse. Be that as it may, I will get caught up today and tomorrow. Without further justification, here we go:
Day 1 -- Favorite christmas song and why?
This was an easy one!
"It Could Happen Again" by Collin Raye
This song clearly illustrates what Christmas is really all about. Frankly, it illustrates what life should be all about too.
Here are the lyrics:
(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCQpNPGq_mU )
(Narration by Johnny Cash: One frozen night in 1914, at the height of World War I, the unthinkable happened: all along the entire western front, the British and German soldiers lay down their weapons, an unofficial cease fire, to celebrate Christmas Eve together. They exchanged gifts, and saw each other as brothers, and that peace lasted for two more days, when they were ordered back to battle. In those few days, though, men remembered the reason for Christmas amongst the devastation, and it's a story that should never be forgotten.)
Through the smoke filled night silence rose from both sides
Across a bloody battlefield
It was a cold Christmas Eve in 1914
To those who were there, it seemed unreal
As time was still the spirit moved the soldiers
To lay down their arms and raise their voice in song
And pretend for a while the war was over
If it could happened then, it could happen again
A world torn apart could join hands and hearts
To celebrate his birth and peace on this Earth
If for one magic night we could find again a reason not to fight
Maybe there's a chance; This time it might last.
As opposing sides approached through broken words they spoke
It wasn't long before they felt at ease
They shared their cigarettes, what they had they used as gifts
They didn't feel like enemies
With candles lit they stood shoulder to shoulder
And on that field they found true common ground
And as they prayed they dreamed the war was over
If it could happened then, it could happen again
A world torn apart could join hands and hearts
To celebrate his birth and peace on this Earth
If for one magic night we could find again a reason not to fight
Maybe there's a chance; This time it might last.
If it could happened then, it could happen again.
Day 1 -- Favorite christmas song and why?
This was an easy one!
"It Could Happen Again" by Collin Raye
This song clearly illustrates what Christmas is really all about. Frankly, it illustrates what life should be all about too.
Here are the lyrics:
(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCQpNPGq_mU )
(Narration by Johnny Cash: One frozen night in 1914, at the height of World War I, the unthinkable happened: all along the entire western front, the British and German soldiers lay down their weapons, an unofficial cease fire, to celebrate Christmas Eve together. They exchanged gifts, and saw each other as brothers, and that peace lasted for two more days, when they were ordered back to battle. In those few days, though, men remembered the reason for Christmas amongst the devastation, and it's a story that should never be forgotten.)
Through the smoke filled night silence rose from both sides
Across a bloody battlefield
It was a cold Christmas Eve in 1914
To those who were there, it seemed unreal
As time was still the spirit moved the soldiers
To lay down their arms and raise their voice in song
And pretend for a while the war was over
If it could happened then, it could happen again
A world torn apart could join hands and hearts
To celebrate his birth and peace on this Earth
If for one magic night we could find again a reason not to fight
Maybe there's a chance; This time it might last.
As opposing sides approached through broken words they spoke
It wasn't long before they felt at ease
They shared their cigarettes, what they had they used as gifts
They didn't feel like enemies
With candles lit they stood shoulder to shoulder
And on that field they found true common ground
And as they prayed they dreamed the war was over
If it could happened then, it could happen again
A world torn apart could join hands and hearts
To celebrate his birth and peace on this Earth
If for one magic night we could find again a reason not to fight
Maybe there's a chance; This time it might last.
If it could happened then, it could happen again.
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