30 Days of Thankfulness Day 2

Today I am thankful for my grandmother.  We always called her Granny.  It was by her own choice that she was called that and I'm sad to say I don't even know why she chose that.  I know when speaking of her maternal grandmother she always referred to her as Granny, so I'm guessing it had something to do with that.

Growing up, my grandmother was my primary caregiver.  My parents were very young when I was born.  (I was born a year after they married and they married at eighteen.)  Their primary focus was on making money.  I was dropped off very early in the morning at my grandmother's house, long before school started, and after school I was at my grandmother's house until my parents got home from work.  Often my parents would go away on the weekends and leave me with my grandmother.  Honestly, this was for the best.  My mom will tell you to this day she was never cut out to be a parent.  In all honesty, my parents should have never had children.  Be that as it may, my grandmother provided me with a stability I would have never had otherwise.  She also taught me a lot. 

My grandmother was a strong Christian and from as early as I can remember church, the Bible, praying, vacation Bible school, church camp, etc were a part of my life.  For this I am very thankful.  If not for my grandmother, I know I would not be saved today.

My grandmother also instilled in me the importance of learning and gave me a love for learning.  She helped to develop my mind and push me to excellence.  My grandmother was the one person who never said I was stupid when I was growing up.

She also gave me my love of reading.  My grandmother read constantly.  She often said if she didn't have a book to read then she would just read a phone book.  I have to laugh because I have often found myself reading the cereal box when I'm trying to eat quickly and have deprived myself of reading material.  Growing up, we used to go to the library at least once a week.  We checked out tons and tons of books and we read every one of them.  My favorite books were the horse books by CW Anderson.  There was a series, Billy and Blaze, and I loved them!  He had other horse books outside of the series that I loved as well.  To this day, I wish I had his books!  They were just lovely and I spent many long hours enjoying them.

Correspondence is another gift only my grandmother could have given me.  I love to write letters.  Growing up I had pen pals and, to this day, I still correspond with my friends.  Yes, I use email, but some of my family and friends will also get a handwritten letter from me.  I can't count the number of times someone has said to me that they are so thankful to have received my card because it was just what they needed at that moment.

So, yes, today was all about my grandmother in my thoughts.  She's been dead many years now, but the gifts she gave to me are timeless.  What has been mentioned here is only a smattering of the many gifts she gave me.  There is so much in my daily life that I can attribute to her teaching and influence.  I am glad she picked up the slack and raised me.

30 Days of Thankfulness Day 1

It's hard to believe it is already November 1st!  I'm afraid this has been a very busy, sometimes trying, year.  Unfortunately, there were many times I lost focus on the good things and let ungratefulness creep in.  In light of that, I'm actually happy I'm now at the beginning of  November and again thinking of what I am thankful for.  In all honesty, it wasn't until I was writing out Thanksgiving cards this morning that I even decided to do this again!

The idea to do this again just kind of snuck up on me.  I was sitting at my dining room table writing out Thanksgiving cards.  I know sending cards is a very old fashioned thing to do, but I love to do it.  I can't tell you how many times I've had someone tell me it just made their day to actually get something other than a bill or junk mail in the mailbox.  And as I was working on the cards I started thinking about how great the people I was sending these cards to had been over the year.  These are the people who wrote to my son while he was in boot camp.  These are the people who were there for me when I was dying because my son had left home to pursue his own path.  These are the people who have welcomed me into their homes and lives and accepted me for who I am and love me in spite of my shortcomings.  These are the people who have encouraged me, consoled me, and just been there for me.

So today, I am incredibly thankful for my friends.  I am thankful for the love and acceptance of true friends and I appreciate their willingness to accept me as I am.  I am especially grateful that they love my son too.  My son is the most important thing in my life and I am glad that they accept him into our friendships as they have. 

30 Days of Thankfulness -- Days 17-27

Soooooo....I wasn't so good at keeping this updated.  But that's OK.  I still did it and that's all that counts.

Day 17 -- Reconciliation.  I didn't expect it to happen even though both parties were in the wrong.  But  out of the blue, he called.  It shocked me, but I'm always thankful when a friendship can be restored.

Day 18 -- Being able to stock up for the holidays.  The sales are already starting so that helps me get the massive amounts of food needed to make it through the holidays.  It's nice to be able to stay home and just cook instead of rushing out at the last moment.

Day 19 -- Coworkers who like to cook.  I've picked up a few recipes this year from my coworkers and they are great.  I just got an amazing cranberry sauce recipe that is probably going to become a staple.

Day 20 -- Finally getting caught up at work!  Sounds silly, but with the snowbirds back, getting caught up before the rush is really important.  If you don't get caught up now, you won't be caught up until about March.  If you're lucky.

Day 21 -- My son!  It's his birthday and he is the best part of my life and I'm thankful for every day that I get to spend with him.

Day 22 -- Doctors.  I spent a lot of time with doctors yesterday and am hurting today, but I'm really thankful for the doctors.  Maybe I'll get better?

Day 23 -- Quiet days at home.  I am so thankful when I have a day just to relax.  I love the peace and just being at home.

Day 24 -- A short work week.  I'm thankful for my job, but I sure do love a short work week.  It means extra time with my loved ones!

Day 25 -- Extended family.  I love keeping in touch with extended family.  With Facebook, etc it's so much easier to keep up with parts of the family that you otherwise may not be able to.

Day 26 -- The stores that will NOT be open tomorrow.  There are a lot of stores that are making the decision to open on Thanksgiving.  This is NOT ok and I do not support it.  Obviously for some stores (gas stations, pharmacies and the like) it's understandable that they are open and even necessary.  But Macy's, Sports Authority, Best Buy, etc?  Shame on them.  They won't get my money tomorrow and they sure won't get my money throughout the rest of the year either.

Day 27 -- THANKSGIVING!!!!!  This is just the best day of the year.  I get to cook for the ones I love and spend the day with them.  It's really great and it reminds me that when things look bad, at least I have my family.

30 Days of Thankfulness -- Day 14-16

It looks like I'm going to be doing these posts by multiple days instead of one a day.  I suppose it's better than not doing it at all!  I do think of what I'm thankful for every day, though.

Day 14 -- Salvation Army Bell Ringers.  I heard my first bell ringer today.  It really made me smile.  That sound, like no other, really makes me feel like the holidays are here.

Day 15 -- Extra Coupons!  Today I was in Bath and Body Works.  I have tons of coupons for them and when I combine the coupons with their sales I can get six full size items for $22.  That's less than the price of two regular price items!  Yep, I'm going to take advantage of that!  There was this older woman in there and she stopped me to ask me some questions.  I don't know if she thought I worked there or if she thought I knew something because I had a ton of product in my hands.  Regardless, we started talking.  As we were talking, I found out she didn't have any coupons.  Well, I had five.  Was it really going to hurt me to share?  No, not in the least.  So I gave her one.  It made me feel good.

Day 16 -- A conscience.  Now pretty much everybody who has found out about this has said I'm crazy.  But I don't think so.  I think it was the right thing to do.  When I was at Barnes & Noble yesterday, they have a special where you buy one item in the store and you can buy a Christmas themed bag for $9.95 instead of $19.95.  I couldn't decide between the bags.  A friend of mine was with me and he was buying a book, too.  We each got a bag.  Well when going through the line, on one of the orders, only the bag was rung up but not the book.  I realized it when I was out in the parking lot.  I went back inside, over his objections, and paid for the book.  He says I was crazy and should have just taken the book.  I don't agree.  To take it, knowing you didn't  pay for it, is stealing.

30 Days of Thankfulness -- Days 10-13

Well, that whole thing about being a normal person and posting every day like I'm supposed to didn't happen.  I give up on being normal!  So what have I been thankful for lately?

Day 10 -- My job!  Let's face it, we all have to work and it helps if you don't completely hate your job.  I'm not going to lie, there are times when I get very frustrated with my job, but overall, it's one of the best places I've worked.  Probably the best place I've worked.

Day 11 -- Veterans.  I'm not only thankful for our veterans because I have the day off.  I am truly thankful for the sacrifices veterans have made for our country.

Day 12 -- Being able to help friends.  I never really thought I had much to offer anybody, but it turns out, maybe I do.  A friend of mine is going through a rough spot and apparently just being there and talking to him helps him.  I'm glad I'm able to do that!

Day 13 -- Good sales people.  Sounds weird, but it's true.  Ever since my favorite person left Verizon, dealing with them has been hellish.  Well tonight when I went in, we got a sales person that reminded me so much of our favorite person and he was simply a joy to work with. 

30 Days of Thankfulness -- Day 1-9

I've been doing the 30 Days of Thankfulness elsewhere, but didn't think to do it here until today!  Silly me! LOL  So I'm going to catch up in this post and then just go to posting one a day like a normal, sane person.  Yep, I got y'all fooled if you think I'm "normal and sane"! 

Day 1 -- The Farmer's Market.  Almost every Saturday morning I meet my mom at the local Farmer's Market held downtown.  The big draw here isn't the fresh veggies and bread (although those are great), the best part of this is that I get to see my mom and spend time with her.  We usually catch lunch a Harry's afterwards.

Day 2 -- Hallmark Channel! They have already started playing Christmas movies and I love it! Kleenex loves it too!

Day 3 -- My luppies!  I love my dogs.  No getting around it.  And I love taking them on walks and just being with them.

Day 4 -- My son.  I don't know what I would do without him.  Sometimes he really pisses me off, but ultimately he's really the best son I could ask for.

Day 5 -- C.  I'm not typing the name here to protect his identity.  But dispite how things worked out he's supporting me in something that is really huge and scary and is a really good friend.  And on days when I'm not doing so well mentally he somehow gets me through it.

Day 6 -- My job.  Without it I couldn't pay the bills.  Some days I get frustrated, but mostly I like my job.

Day 7 -- The weekend!  I love the weekend.  So much to do and enjoy.  And Friday at 5pm starts the best part of the week.

Day 8 -- Cool weather.  Yes, it makes me ache, but it's so much nicer than being out sweltering in the Florida heat!  The Farmer's Markert today was great.  And I discovered something I LOVE.  Pickled asparagus.

Day 9 -- Sundays.  Yes, they are the last day of the weekend, but Sundays are so quiet and lazy and enjoyable.  When I had a church that I attended regularly, Sundays were especially nice.  But either way, they are still a great end to one week and start of another.

Mi Vida Loca

Believe it or not, I have not fallen off the face of the earth! Life has gotten in the way! Not in a bad way mind you. As I have mentioned before, my parents moved up here. Of course I love it. But sometimes life doesn't go exactly as planned. Not long after my mom got here, her previous employer called and pretty much begged her to come back. As the other house down south has not sold, she agreed to work a few days a week -- just long enough to help them get caught up. Well, that was April.

Skip ahead eight months. Here we are in December. I'm sure you're wondering what the big deal is. Well the house down south hasn't sold yet and she is still working. What does that have to do with my current busyness? The horses, cats, dogs, fish, birds, etc. were already here. Rather than move them back to the house down south my mom asked me to split my week between the two houses up here.

Have you ever tried to run two households? No? You have no idea what you are missing. I have never been so busy in my life! And I'm not sure there is an end in sight. I know reports say the housing market has recovered nicely, but I don't think those reports are looking at high dollar properties. Sure there is plenty of interest, the problem is people can't get the financing.

So it would seem, at least for the foreseeable future, I will continue to run two households. Thankfully I am not fully responsible for both! Let's just be honest here. There is no way I could handle being fully responsible for both! If I'm completely honest, I can't even believe I'm allowed to be responsible for myself!

I would like to say that I have more than just the previous excuse , but I don't. The fact is, all these animals, two houses and work have me so busy I don't know if I'm coming or going. In all honesty I have very little free time. In fact, I've not even read my 12-24 books this year. Of the 5-6 books that I have read, I've yet to review them for my reading blog. ( The Well-Read Floridian ) Perhaps I'll do that next.

Despite the upheavel, I really can't complain. As a family we are blessed. We could be like so many others and have no place to live. It's all too easy to get caught in the trap of focusing on what isn't exactly as we might like it to be. Yet there are many with far less. And realistically speaking, nothing lasts forever. About the only thing you can count on is that change will come.

With that in mind, I will close this post. I hope each of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and are looking forward to a great Christmas season. With the new year I am planning to do a 30 day New Year's challenge. Maybe. Some of the questions on this challenge probe pretty deep and are rather revealing. We'll see what the New Year holds!

December Spring

Today's weather was just beautiful!  Days like today make me glad I live in Florida.  Where else could I be working on my tan at the end of December?  I spent the vast majority of the day sitting out on my deck reading and playing with the dog.  If I didn't know better, I would think spring had come to Florida early.  But I've lived here long enough to know we still have some bitter cold weather ahead of us.

Sitting under the stunningly clear cerulean sky got me to thinking.  I kept saying to my son how much I loved the day and how beautiful the day was and I realized that for the first time in six months I was truly happy and at peace.  For the first time in a long time I felt truly thankful.  I was able to look at my life, my house, my health...everything with new eyes.

I was surprised to find that I was even looking forward to the new year.  Yes, there are several struggles that I know I will face, but they don't seem quite as insurmountable as they once did.  I don't know if it's because I did some "spring cleaning" and rid myself of some people who were dragging me down or if it was some other change that I've made.  I know only that things don't seem as bleak as they once did.

For the first time in a long time when I said today that I was thankful for something, I wasn't just saying the words.  For almost six months, I've said I was thankful for this or that because I knew I should be thankful for it, but I wasn't truly thankful.  Today was different.  There was feeling behind the words.  When I said I was thankful for the beautiful day, I truly felt thankful.  I felt content and happy and at ease.  It was nice. 

I know there will be days ahead when the feeling will be gone, but for some reason, I know those days will be temporary.  For the past six months, I wasn't so sure it was temporary.  It felt as though I had fallen into some dark place where light just couldn't reach.  And it felt as though there was no escape.  I am glad that is behind me now.

I hope tomorrow is as beautiful as today.  I hope I continue to move forward and put some distance between myself and that dark place I was in.  And I am thankful that I again have hope. 

The Nature of Thankfulness

On Facebook and various other social media I’ve noticed people doing a countdown to Thanksgiving in which they post each day something they are thankful for. Don’t get me wrong, I think this is great. But I must admit to being a bit disgusted by this. These are the same people who ten minutes later are complaining.

Let me stop right here and be very clear. I am not on my high horse finding fault with others and trying to pass myself off as the paragon of thankfulness. I am not. Hence the reason I’m not participating in this. I have not cultivated a spirit of thankfulness within myself to the point where I feel I have any right to take part in this. It’s not that I’m not thankful, I simply don’t see myself as thankful enough.

It is this whole thankfulness countdown phenomena that pops up every November that got me to thinking about the fleeting nature of human thankfulness. I find that on average people tend to be thankful only when they are reminded that they should be. And I find that thankfulness doesn’t make it through even the smallest of disappointments. I read a Facebook status update in which an acquaintance expounded upon her thankfulness for her family and children and so on and so forth. A very Norman Rockwell moment indeed, full of eloquent loving language. Then report cards came home. Apparently the end result wasn’t what was expected. Suddenly her children were a burden, her family didn’t help out enough and, wonders of wonders, her family went from Norman Rockwell perfect to dysfunctional in about three sentences. Suddenly her kids and family were nothing but a burden she wanted to be away from. That theme lasted the rest of the day. But come the next morning she had to write her thankfulness post for the day and once again she was gushing. This time about being so thankful for her house. Too bad the water heater went out later that day…

This month of thankfulness seems rather forced and empty. It seems people mouth the words, but don’t actually live it. This made me examine myself. And I realize that, yes, there are things for which I am thankful, but there is far too much I take for granted. I could rationalize it away and say to myself, “Well, with all that has happened to me recently surely I need not blame myself.” Wrong. Life happens. If I use that as an excuse to forget the blessings I enjoy every day, then I should be careful lest I find those blessings suddenly absent from my life.

So back to square one I went. I don’t want to be an ungrateful brat. I don’t want to be fakely positive either. I want to be truly thankful for what I have but not in the way of those that are fakely Christian on Sunday but get drunk and beat their wife and kids every other day of the week.

I quickly realized that it’s very easy to let the negative overwhelm your thoughts and be the thing that drives you. I’ve been focusing too much on the negative. That makes me feel helpless, hopeless and overwhelmed. If I’m feeling helpless, hopeless and overwhelmed there is no room for positive thoughts. Obviously if there is no room for positive thoughts, I’m not going to be thankful.

My plan is simple. I’ve got to focus on the positive. And, truly, there are plenty of positive things in my life. The plan for this week is to simply replace a negative thought with a positive one. Simple enough. It recalibrates my thinking. I can be whiney because I’m sick at home with a fever. And, yes, that really isn’t fun. Or I could be thankful that I have a job to be sick at home from and be thankful for the extra time at home that allows me to catch up on my reading. I guess this is what my grandmother always meant about finding the silver lining in even the worst circumstances.

I wonder though, is this going to work when I’m forced to make a trip to Wal-Mart?