It looks like I'm going to be doing these posts by multiple days instead of one a day. I suppose it's better than not doing it at all! I do think of what I'm thankful for every day, though.
Day 14 -- Salvation Army Bell Ringers. I heard my first bell ringer today. It really made me smile. That sound, like no other, really makes me feel like the holidays are here.
Day 15 -- Extra Coupons! Today I was in Bath and Body Works. I have tons of coupons for them and when I combine the coupons with their sales I can get six full size items for $22. That's less than the price of two regular price items! Yep, I'm going to take advantage of that! There was this older woman in there and she stopped me to ask me some questions. I don't know if she thought I worked there or if she thought I knew something because I had a ton of product in my hands. Regardless, we started talking. As we were talking, I found out she didn't have any coupons. Well, I had five. Was it really going to hurt me to share? No, not in the least. So I gave her one. It made me feel good.
Day 16 -- A conscience. Now pretty much everybody who has found out about this has said I'm crazy. But I don't think so. I think it was the right thing to do. When I was at Barnes & Noble yesterday, they have a special where you buy one item in the store and you can buy a Christmas themed bag for $9.95 instead of $19.95. I couldn't decide between the bags. A friend of mine was with me and he was buying a book, too. We each got a bag. Well when going through the line, on one of the orders, only the bag was rung up but not the book. I realized it when I was out in the parking lot. I went back inside, over his objections, and paid for the book. He says I was crazy and should have just taken the book. I don't agree. To take it, knowing you didn't pay for it, is stealing.
Showing posts with label awareness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label awareness. Show all posts
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Sunday, November 4, 2012
The Nature of Thankfulness
On Facebook and various other social media I’ve noticed people doing a countdown to Thanksgiving in which they post each day something they are thankful for. Don’t get me wrong, I think this is great. But I must admit to being a bit disgusted by this. These are the same people who ten minutes later are complaining.
Let me stop right here and be very clear. I am not on my high horse finding fault with others and trying to pass myself off as the paragon of thankfulness. I am not. Hence the reason I’m not participating in this. I have not cultivated a spirit of thankfulness within myself to the point where I feel I have any right to take part in this. It’s not that I’m not thankful, I simply don’t see myself as thankful enough.
It is this whole thankfulness countdown phenomena that pops up every November that got me to thinking about the fleeting nature of human thankfulness. I find that on average people tend to be thankful only when they are reminded that they should be. And I find that thankfulness doesn’t make it through even the smallest of disappointments. I read a Facebook status update in which an acquaintance expounded upon her thankfulness for her family and children and so on and so forth. A very Norman Rockwell moment indeed, full of eloquent loving language. Then report cards came home. Apparently the end result wasn’t what was expected. Suddenly her children were a burden, her family didn’t help out enough and, wonders of wonders, her family went from Norman Rockwell perfect to dysfunctional in about three sentences. Suddenly her kids and family were nothing but a burden she wanted to be away from. That theme lasted the rest of the day. But come the next morning she had to write her thankfulness post for the day and once again she was gushing. This time about being so thankful for her house. Too bad the water heater went out later that day…
This month of thankfulness seems rather forced and empty. It seems people mouth the words, but don’t actually live it. This made me examine myself. And I realize that, yes, there are things for which I am thankful, but there is far too much I take for granted. I could rationalize it away and say to myself, “Well, with all that has happened to me recently surely I need not blame myself.” Wrong. Life happens. If I use that as an excuse to forget the blessings I enjoy every day, then I should be careful lest I find those blessings suddenly absent from my life.
So back to square one I went. I don’t want to be an ungrateful brat. I don’t want to be fakely positive either. I want to be truly thankful for what I have but not in the way of those that are fakely Christian on Sunday but get drunk and beat their wife and kids every other day of the week.
I quickly realized that it’s very easy to let the negative overwhelm your thoughts and be the thing that drives you. I’ve been focusing too much on the negative. That makes me feel helpless, hopeless and overwhelmed. If I’m feeling helpless, hopeless and overwhelmed there is no room for positive thoughts. Obviously if there is no room for positive thoughts, I’m not going to be thankful.
My plan is simple. I’ve got to focus on the positive. And, truly, there are plenty of positive things in my life. The plan for this week is to simply replace a negative thought with a positive one. Simple enough. It recalibrates my thinking. I can be whiney because I’m sick at home with a fever. And, yes, that really isn’t fun. Or I could be thankful that I have a job to be sick at home from and be thankful for the extra time at home that allows me to catch up on my reading. I guess this is what my grandmother always meant about finding the silver lining in even the worst circumstances.
I wonder though, is this going to work when I’m forced to make a trip to Wal-Mart?
Let me stop right here and be very clear. I am not on my high horse finding fault with others and trying to pass myself off as the paragon of thankfulness. I am not. Hence the reason I’m not participating in this. I have not cultivated a spirit of thankfulness within myself to the point where I feel I have any right to take part in this. It’s not that I’m not thankful, I simply don’t see myself as thankful enough.
It is this whole thankfulness countdown phenomena that pops up every November that got me to thinking about the fleeting nature of human thankfulness. I find that on average people tend to be thankful only when they are reminded that they should be. And I find that thankfulness doesn’t make it through even the smallest of disappointments. I read a Facebook status update in which an acquaintance expounded upon her thankfulness for her family and children and so on and so forth. A very Norman Rockwell moment indeed, full of eloquent loving language. Then report cards came home. Apparently the end result wasn’t what was expected. Suddenly her children were a burden, her family didn’t help out enough and, wonders of wonders, her family went from Norman Rockwell perfect to dysfunctional in about three sentences. Suddenly her kids and family were nothing but a burden she wanted to be away from. That theme lasted the rest of the day. But come the next morning she had to write her thankfulness post for the day and once again she was gushing. This time about being so thankful for her house. Too bad the water heater went out later that day…
This month of thankfulness seems rather forced and empty. It seems people mouth the words, but don’t actually live it. This made me examine myself. And I realize that, yes, there are things for which I am thankful, but there is far too much I take for granted. I could rationalize it away and say to myself, “Well, with all that has happened to me recently surely I need not blame myself.” Wrong. Life happens. If I use that as an excuse to forget the blessings I enjoy every day, then I should be careful lest I find those blessings suddenly absent from my life.
So back to square one I went. I don’t want to be an ungrateful brat. I don’t want to be fakely positive either. I want to be truly thankful for what I have but not in the way of those that are fakely Christian on Sunday but get drunk and beat their wife and kids every other day of the week.
I quickly realized that it’s very easy to let the negative overwhelm your thoughts and be the thing that drives you. I’ve been focusing too much on the negative. That makes me feel helpless, hopeless and overwhelmed. If I’m feeling helpless, hopeless and overwhelmed there is no room for positive thoughts. Obviously if there is no room for positive thoughts, I’m not going to be thankful.
My plan is simple. I’ve got to focus on the positive. And, truly, there are plenty of positive things in my life. The plan for this week is to simply replace a negative thought with a positive one. Simple enough. It recalibrates my thinking. I can be whiney because I’m sick at home with a fever. And, yes, that really isn’t fun. Or I could be thankful that I have a job to be sick at home from and be thankful for the extra time at home that allows me to catch up on my reading. I guess this is what my grandmother always meant about finding the silver lining in even the worst circumstances.
I wonder though, is this going to work when I’m forced to make a trip to Wal-Mart?
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Time to Think
Having lost my officemate some months ago, I now have the peace and quiet I require to think. Not to mention I can listen to something other than puerile country music all day. Thus it has been with a sense of relief and quiet expectation that I've turned the radio dial from meaningless prattle about lost love and drinking binges to something a bit more mentally edifying. Thank you, Lord, for NPR, BBC and PRI! My brain is now recovering from the mush caused by the whole country music culture. I swear being forced to endure forty hours a week of country music and the inane DJs on the country music stations dropped my IQ by at least ten points!
The down side to all of this -- if, indeed, one could call it a down side -- is that I spend a lot of time thinking about what's going on in the world. As one would expect, doing so makes me much more mindful of what is going on right in my own backyard and causes me to be a bit more of the activist. I've come to the conclusion that most of the radio programming on other stations exists to lull people into a false sense of security so they won't think about what is going on around them and what needs to be changed.
Lately something that has really weighed heavily on my mind is the vast inequalities in the world. I understand that not everybody can live in a McMansion, drive a Benz and have a vacation home in the south of France, but surely everybody should have access to the very basics. Clean water comes to mind.
Along with these musings on the inequalities of the world, I also start to think about how those with the power often abuse those with no power. Of course, sometimes those with no power rise up and successfully advocate for themselves. Here I think of those protesters involved in the Arab Spring uprisings. But then I'm reminded of those who didn't meet with such stellar results. They didn't get the coverage that the protesters in Lybia got, but one cannot overlook their suffering. My heart goes out to the people of Bahrain, Algeria and Iran. While Lybia, Tunisia and Egypt have seen changes, the people of Bahrain, Algeria and Iran still suffer and die from the brutality of a government with complete control.
And then on January 2nd I learned that Gordon Hirabayashi died at the age of 93. Now I will grant you his story is not as bad as the stories of the people previously mentioned, but it does bring into sharp focus how even our own government abuses its power. Not that any of us find this surprising. However, I will admit that sometimes I forget when I focus on what is happening overseas.
I often wonder how our government can justify what has happened to Japanese-Americans. And why weren't German-Americans rounded up? Or Italian-Americans? Yes, Japan attacked Pearl Harbor, but they had allies. They were not exactly engaged in the war all by themselves. I often think it was easy to signal out the Japanese-Americans. After all, they were pretty easy to spot. And it's easy enough to sell the idea of internment when it was the Japanese who actually did the bombing.
What bothers me the most is that the vast majority of the American population supported this! Yes, there were some that opposed the internment, but not very many. Though the reasons were different, this reminds me of how the Native Americans were relocated. Again, a complete lack of understanding and an easy to identify population without a voice had their rights trampled by a greedy, bigoted government.
I wonder: If this were to happen right now, how many would stand up and say, "Not on my watch!" How many people would actually risk their own comfortable existence to advocate for those who's rights are being violated? I would like to think I would be one of those people.
The down side to all of this -- if, indeed, one could call it a down side -- is that I spend a lot of time thinking about what's going on in the world. As one would expect, doing so makes me much more mindful of what is going on right in my own backyard and causes me to be a bit more of the activist. I've come to the conclusion that most of the radio programming on other stations exists to lull people into a false sense of security so they won't think about what is going on around them and what needs to be changed.
Lately something that has really weighed heavily on my mind is the vast inequalities in the world. I understand that not everybody can live in a McMansion, drive a Benz and have a vacation home in the south of France, but surely everybody should have access to the very basics. Clean water comes to mind.
Along with these musings on the inequalities of the world, I also start to think about how those with the power often abuse those with no power. Of course, sometimes those with no power rise up and successfully advocate for themselves. Here I think of those protesters involved in the Arab Spring uprisings. But then I'm reminded of those who didn't meet with such stellar results. They didn't get the coverage that the protesters in Lybia got, but one cannot overlook their suffering. My heart goes out to the people of Bahrain, Algeria and Iran. While Lybia, Tunisia and Egypt have seen changes, the people of Bahrain, Algeria and Iran still suffer and die from the brutality of a government with complete control.
And then on January 2nd I learned that Gordon Hirabayashi died at the age of 93. Now I will grant you his story is not as bad as the stories of the people previously mentioned, but it does bring into sharp focus how even our own government abuses its power. Not that any of us find this surprising. However, I will admit that sometimes I forget when I focus on what is happening overseas.
I often wonder how our government can justify what has happened to Japanese-Americans. And why weren't German-Americans rounded up? Or Italian-Americans? Yes, Japan attacked Pearl Harbor, but they had allies. They were not exactly engaged in the war all by themselves. I often think it was easy to signal out the Japanese-Americans. After all, they were pretty easy to spot. And it's easy enough to sell the idea of internment when it was the Japanese who actually did the bombing.
What bothers me the most is that the vast majority of the American population supported this! Yes, there were some that opposed the internment, but not very many. Though the reasons were different, this reminds me of how the Native Americans were relocated. Again, a complete lack of understanding and an easy to identify population without a voice had their rights trampled by a greedy, bigoted government.
I wonder: If this were to happen right now, how many would stand up and say, "Not on my watch!" How many people would actually risk their own comfortable existence to advocate for those who's rights are being violated? I would like to think I would be one of those people.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Life Is A Verb
I tend to people watch. I don’t mean the people watching you might do at the mall -- although I admit to having indulged in that brand of people watching as well. The type of people watching I’m talking about here is the more in depth, ongoing type of observation made of those in your life on a regular/recurring basis. One thing that strikes me is that we don’t know how to live! Sure, we have moments, maybe even fairly large segments of time where we are at least content, if not happy. But on the whole we aren’t living. Not truly living.
Life is a verb. Life is meant to be lived purposefully. Instead of trudging through life simply enduring we should actively participate. Most of us live life as a noun. Nouns are usually things. Things don’t really do anything. They simply are there until acted upon by an outside force. That’s not how life was meant to be lived. And it surely isn’t how life is enjoyed.
I’ve found the most important aspect to living life as a verb is to be an active participant in your own life. For me, this required a profound shift in my thinking. I had to leave behind the mistaken notion that life was something that happed to me and only required a reactionary response. That required me to reprogram myself to acknowledge that the things that happened in my life were the results of my decisions and actions -- or lack thereof. In essence I had to take responsibility for my life. (A novel idea for many people unfortunately.)
Once I accepted my role in determining my future, I then had to decide what I would do as a result of my newly acquired knowledge. For me it wasn’t a difficult decision. I’m a take charge type of person. My answer was to take life by the horns and have a come to Jesus meeting with it. No longer was life a big scary monster that happened to me and I just had to accept it. Nope. I am the captain of that ship now and we’re going where I want to go.
A big part of taking charge was sitting down and taking inventory. I looked at every aspect of my life from religion to housekeeping. Yes, even housekeeping. I decided how the present condition of that particular aspect of my life made me feel. Then I asked myself if it was even something I wanted in my life at all. Especially if that particular aspect of my life made me feel inferior or evoked some other negative feeling. I’ll be honest, most of the things that made me feel bad were eliminated. In most cases it became obvious these things were aspects of my life other people felt needed to be there.
In addition to scrutinizing every aspect of my life, I also took a long hard look at the people in my life. Sad to say, I had to eliminate some of them as well. I simply did not want or need drama, spitefulness and hatefulness in my life. Those were not easy decisions to make, but I could not overlook the fact that after spending time with some people I left feeling worse than when I started out.
Since I’ve made these changes, I can say I actually have a much better outlook on life. I certainly feel more mentally balanced and so much of the stress I used to experience has melted away. That’s not to say everything is great and fine and we all live happily ever after, but things are at least on a more even keel. And I’ve freed myself up to more actively participate in my own life.
Life is a verb. Life is meant to be lived purposefully. Instead of trudging through life simply enduring we should actively participate. Most of us live life as a noun. Nouns are usually things. Things don’t really do anything. They simply are there until acted upon by an outside force. That’s not how life was meant to be lived. And it surely isn’t how life is enjoyed.
I’ve found the most important aspect to living life as a verb is to be an active participant in your own life. For me, this required a profound shift in my thinking. I had to leave behind the mistaken notion that life was something that happed to me and only required a reactionary response. That required me to reprogram myself to acknowledge that the things that happened in my life were the results of my decisions and actions -- or lack thereof. In essence I had to take responsibility for my life. (A novel idea for many people unfortunately.)
Once I accepted my role in determining my future, I then had to decide what I would do as a result of my newly acquired knowledge. For me it wasn’t a difficult decision. I’m a take charge type of person. My answer was to take life by the horns and have a come to Jesus meeting with it. No longer was life a big scary monster that happened to me and I just had to accept it. Nope. I am the captain of that ship now and we’re going where I want to go.
A big part of taking charge was sitting down and taking inventory. I looked at every aspect of my life from religion to housekeeping. Yes, even housekeeping. I decided how the present condition of that particular aspect of my life made me feel. Then I asked myself if it was even something I wanted in my life at all. Especially if that particular aspect of my life made me feel inferior or evoked some other negative feeling. I’ll be honest, most of the things that made me feel bad were eliminated. In most cases it became obvious these things were aspects of my life other people felt needed to be there.
In addition to scrutinizing every aspect of my life, I also took a long hard look at the people in my life. Sad to say, I had to eliminate some of them as well. I simply did not want or need drama, spitefulness and hatefulness in my life. Those were not easy decisions to make, but I could not overlook the fact that after spending time with some people I left feeling worse than when I started out.
Since I’ve made these changes, I can say I actually have a much better outlook on life. I certainly feel more mentally balanced and so much of the stress I used to experience has melted away. That’s not to say everything is great and fine and we all live happily ever after, but things are at least on a more even keel. And I’ve freed myself up to more actively participate in my own life.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Destiny
It occurs to me that very few people know where their true destiny lies. As I watch the people around me it has become very obvious that people settle for contentment and security as a paltry substitute for pursuing their true destiny. Have we become so dead that we no longer hunger to reach our destiny? Are we too lazy to try?
I often hear people say that they just gave up. Gave up?! Really? Why?
I've heard many answers to that question. Sometimes obligations are cited as the reason someone quit striving to reach their destiny. Other times people have told me they just never could figure out what their destiny was.
Apathy anyone? How can you live your whole life never knowing your destiny? How could you quit trying to figure it out? Why won't you take a chance?!
Some have told me that they are afraid they might be wrong. They are afraid they might risk everything only to find it wasn't their destiny after all. OK...that I can understand. Often to reach a point in our life where day to day life and destiny peacefully co-exist we have to risk a lot. But isn't getting up in the morning a risk? Life is uncertain. Wouldn't it be better to live our uncertain life striving for happiness instead of living contentedly a shadow of what could be?
I think people often mistake contentment for happiness. Until you know the difference you can never truly live your life with awareness.
I often hear people say that they just gave up. Gave up?! Really? Why?
I've heard many answers to that question. Sometimes obligations are cited as the reason someone quit striving to reach their destiny. Other times people have told me they just never could figure out what their destiny was.
Apathy anyone? How can you live your whole life never knowing your destiny? How could you quit trying to figure it out? Why won't you take a chance?!
Some have told me that they are afraid they might be wrong. They are afraid they might risk everything only to find it wasn't their destiny after all. OK...that I can understand. Often to reach a point in our life where day to day life and destiny peacefully co-exist we have to risk a lot. But isn't getting up in the morning a risk? Life is uncertain. Wouldn't it be better to live our uncertain life striving for happiness instead of living contentedly a shadow of what could be?
I think people often mistake contentment for happiness. Until you know the difference you can never truly live your life with awareness.
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