Why Can't I Be Both?

I’m trying to wrap my mind around this concept that I can’t be Christian and goth. Apparently you have to choose between the two. I find this to be a patently absurd idea. I truly cannot comprehend how an aesthetic disqualifies you. I’ve come to the conclusion that the pompous windbags spouting this drivel haven’t even taken the time to learn, even in the most general terms, what being goth really is, nor have they truly gotten to know me and what I stand for.

So what does gothic mean when the word refers to a person or group of people? Frankly, this is where it gets confusing because there are things that many goths like that are not really “gothic” in the strictest sense, say for example, industrial or classical music. Likewise there are things that are gothic that many goths actually don’t care for. Such as vampires and an unhealthy fascination with the morbid. Then to confuse the issue further, there are things that are not gothic that people consider gothic. Unfortunately, violent tendencies toward others and oneself would be a very good example of this. Then you have those that think goth is defined only in terms of music. This couldn’t be more wrong. Goth is a lifestyle. Yes, goths tend to share similar musical tastes, but it is not only the music that defines us as a group. Nor is it fashion lest someone decides to jump on that bandwagon.

I think the biggest thing to remember is that there is no Council sitting around deciding what is gothic and what is not. Even the people who identify as goth have diverse definitions of what goth really is. So, if the people actually involved in the lifestyle don’t have hard and fast rules as to what it means to be goth, what makes those outside of the lifestyle think they are capable of labeling and judging us?

I found this on a website quite some time ago. I wish I could remember what site it was so I could properly credit it. Regardless, I wish to share it:

This is probably the hardest question any goth could try and answer, one may as well ask 'what is society?' as it has so many facets it defies any definitive explanation. Goth in its simplest form, is a subculture. A group of people who feel comfortable within each others company. There is no specific thing that defines what you need to do or be to fit into the goth scene. People in the goth scene all have different musical tastes, follow different religions, have different occupations, hobbies, and fashion sense.

So maybe we could find an answer if we back things up and ask why people choose to identify as gothic. Truthfully, that is likely the easiest question to answer. Goths tend to be tolerant free thinkers. We do not simply accept the whole “this is how it is” thought process. We are not sheep to be led mindlessly about never questioning the one leading us. We tend to gather information, be it through listening and discourse, or study. Once we have gathered our information we then make our decision based on our own values and morals and not those values and morals society says we should have. Sometimes our conclusions do not dovetail with how society thinks it should be. So we’re spurned by “normal” society because we dare to buck the status quo. Eventually we meet up with others like ourselves and we band together.

Once that happens we then get to fight the gothic sterotype. You know the one I mean. The one that says we’re all 23 or younger; we all listen to Marilyn Manson, who by the way is NOT gothic; we all cut on ourselves or in some other way self mutilate; we’re all Satanists or part of some kind of cult; we’re all obsessed with vampires and death; and last, but by no means least, we all dye our hair black, wear black clothing and death makeup. Yeah, across the board that stereotype is WRONG.

The goth scene encompasses a wide variety of people. And really, that’s what those outside of the scene need to remember. First and foremost, there are people in their 30s and 40s still active in the goth scene. There are *le gasp* parents involved in the goth scene. (Someone pass the smelling salts please. I just heard a few of my readers hit the floor.) The goth scene embraces a wide variety of musical tastes, not all of them gothic. And, as with any segment of society, sure there are those who may self mutilate or not have the strongest grasp on reality, but really this is hardly a hallmark of only the goth scene. Additionally, we are not all Satanists. I happen to be Baptist. Others are Catholic, some are pagan, a few are atheists -- you get the idea. There are religions of all types present in the goth scene. And we don’t all think we are vampires nor do we dwell on death constantly. Many of us are volunteers. We give of our time and of ourselves to make the world we live in a better place. Neither do we all have piercings, weirdly styled black hair, closets full of nothing but black clothes and makeup baskets containing only white foundation, black lipstick and dark black liquid eyeliner. Most of us have jobs. Thus we wear business clothing on a daily basis. It is not our clothing that makes us goth; it is our mindset. It’s how we look at the world and how we evaluate the things around us; it is how we react to these things that make us who we are.

And before you read past that last paragraph thinking that it’s only retail store clerks or fast food workers in this lifestyle, I would suggest you open your eyes and look at your doctor, lawyer or accountant. Or maybe your network administrator at work. Or, heaven forbid you ever need him, but the firefighter that pulls you out of your burning house. Goths come from all walks of life and all professions. You know that real nice librarian that helped your kid find a book for her book report? Yeah, he was goth too.

Also, to be sure I’ve very clear: We don’t all dress like medieval vampires. I happen to have been around the goth scene practically since the beginning and I’m what is now considered a loligoth. Although admittedly I also have heavy EGA tendencies. There are so many fashions within the goth scene. Please don’t limit us to the stereotype.

Now that we’ve established what a goth is, let’s return to the original question. Does being a goth automatically disqualify me from being a Christian? From what I’m seeing -- no. But to hear others tell it…. Well you know how they’re telling it. What I get from them is that something I do/identify with means I can’t be a Christian. That’s the same as me looking at them and saying because I saw them drinking Friday night, spending time with their gay friend Saturday, and saw them mowing their lawn Sunday morning instead of being in church, they are no longer qualified to be Christians.

I’m not sure what Bible they are reading, but my Bible doesn’t say anything like that at all. My Bible says: For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. It doesn’t say that the Goths have sinned and come short of the glory of God. From what I’m reading in my Bible, it says that the only thing that keeps you from being a Christian is not believing that Jesus Christ died for your sins and not calling on Him to save you.

So help me out here. If I believe Jesus died for my sins and I’ve asked Him to save my soul and I truly believe that He can do that, how am I not a Christian?! The very definition of Christian is Christ follower. That is why His name is the root of the label by which we are called!

Oh, wait….

I’m starting to understand. People’s preconceived notions -- their JUDGING -- have decided I’m not a Christian. They are falling back on the goth stereotype and just assuming all I think about is death and evil. They are just assuming I don’t believe in God or Jesus. Yeah, I think the Bible has something to say about judging others. Something along the lines of only God knows a person’s heart.

Understand I’m not saying I’m a perfect Christian. I am so far from it! But that doesn’t mean I’m not a Christian. It doesn’t mean that I don’t give God the credit for all the blessings in my life. I know who is in control and I know who is the Savior of my soul. So, don’t tell me that because I identify with a certain group I’m not a Christian. Instead of judging, just accept people for who they are. Hmmm….and once again we are back to the main thing that binds goths together -- TOLERANCE.

A Morning in the Life of...

Several of you have asked what a typical day is like for me, where I go in a typical day, etc. Honestly, I can't imagine that you would find this interesting, but, OK, I'll show you. The only catch is, I can't show my work or say where I work. But other than that, you'll see a typical day.

Well not a full day. I'm just doing the morning. Trust me, there isn't much for the morning. I do *not* do mornings. If my day started at 3pm I'd be very happy.

So, this morning when I went out the sky was looking pretty cool. It had something to do with the impending rain. And, I have little doubt, it looked cool to me because I am rarely truly awake enough at 7am to even pay attention to the sky, much less appreciate its beauty.



I have a 15 minute drive to work. Some days I stop at McDonald's for oatmeal and a large sweet tea. Not sure why I try to get something healthy like oatmeal and then get a 44oz drink that has so much sugar in it it's like drinking syrup. But yeah, that's breakfast a few times a week. Do I really need to take a pic of McDonald's? I think not. Y'all know what it looks like.

So I drag my butt into my office. Barely awake. Functioning on only the most basic of levels. Skin burning from the sun. Oh wait, no....I'm not supposed to mention that!

Right...moving right along....

I plop down at my desk and unlock it and begin my morning ritual of staring out the window for the next hour or two. This is what I see:

Window #1


That is Veteran's Park that you see off in the distance. It has flagpoles for every state in the Union. Unfortunately they don't fly said flags every day. It would be really cool if they did though. And around 1100am a guy comes and plays his bagpipes every day. I always open my window so I can hear him better.

Window#2


It's hard to tell in this pic, but that's bamboo. Yep, bamboo. It makes me happy. Very happy. It reminds me of Japan. But I love the moss that fell from the oak trees into the bamboo. It combines two things that are so very me. The bamboo for Japan and the moss for the South.

So, that's my morning. I don't do much in the morning. I'm barely coherent in the morning. It's just wrong for a person to be required to be awake at that hour!